Swine Flu Analyzer: It makes jokes...that we've already heard.

Swine Flu Aalyzer makes sure, on launch, to inform you that it does not actually "analyze or scan anything.  It is built for entertainment purposes only."  If you're the kind of person who would think a virus could be detected with a phone...then you might actually find some of the app's jokes "entertaining."

The rest of us, though, will have to look elsewhere.  I'll get to that in a second.

The app is as simple as simple apps can be.  You are presented with a pig nose.  You're supposed to push your nose against it for three seconds.  I still have some modicum of dignity left in my life, so I just used a finger.

Whenever you let go, you're presented with a short message and a still image, usually making some lame joke.  For instance, a "mild" infection means that your favorite movie has become "Aporcalypse Now."  Get it??? PORK!!

There are a few funny pictures, and I know I'm being a little hard on this, but it's not my brand of humor.  If you're going to make this app, push the bounds of intellectualism or even taste a little bit.  If your app is about making jokes about a virus, it had better be damn funny.

The other problem I have with this one is that the number of responses are severely limited.  There are really only a handful of screens that you can get, so the app loses its "fun" after about five minutes.

Now, if this were a free app, it might be worth a look or a chuckle.  Hell, it would be worth it just to see if you could find anyone dumb enough to actually believe that it detected the virus.  But at $.99, it's not worth it.

I really hate writing bad reviews.  In fact, I've even heard from a few of you saying "why are so many TapCritic reviews positive?"  Well, the answer is this: our goal is not to trash apps.  It's to find good apps and share them with you.  If there is an app that we're excited about but doesn't deliver (like Metal Gear Solid Touch), then it's also our job to give you a warning.  In general, though, there are just too many apps in the app store to bother with trashing the really bad ones.

I mean, wouldn't you rather read a good review about a good app than a negative review about a bad one?  The good review might actually help you find something useful...the negative one would simply allow you to check one of the 10,000+ apps off your list.  Only 9,999 left to sift through.  Our hope here is that we can help do some of that searching for you, so you don't have to bother with the bottom of the barrel.

This one, though, I really thought might be fun.  Joke apps can be a blast, even with simple ideas and interfaces.  As such, it's my unfortunate duty to inform you that this isn't really worth the price tag.  Check it off the list...we'll try to get back to you soon with something worth the price of admission.

If you feel the need, you can buy Swine Flu Analyzer HERE.

Comments

[Hamish]

You bought the wrong app! Hardly anyone has downloaded that since it changed from free to paid.

Far better is Swine Flu Scanner http://www.hurl.ws/3bhd

It's the most popular Swine Flu App around the world - currently in the Australia entertainment top 10 paid apps and in the top 40 in the UK.

After your Swine Flu Scan you get a consultation with Dr Ham Funk, an Uncertified Swine Flu Practitioner fresh out of Mexico City University.

Watch out for a major update (currently in the approval process) that adds a whole new dimension to Dr Ham Funk's consultation.