No, that headline makes no sense. No, it isn’t supposed to. No, I’m not doing drugs.

Two of those three statement are true. I’ll let you decide.

And while you ponder that one, why not take a look at my video review for Assassin’s Creed II Discovery?

You can buy it HERE

Don’t you just hate applications with unnecessarily long titles.  It’s like the app is too happy with itself to just go for the honest-to-God basics.  Or the company who makes it just doesn’t really care.

I tend to think the latter is the case with “Alice in Wonderland – An Adventure Beyond the Mirror,” Disney’s latest effort to create a synergistic marketing machine using the iPhone in conjunction with the recently released Tim Burton film “Alice in Wonderland.”  This game, from what I can see, plays mostly like a commercial for the movie, and badly so.  There is very little effort put into graphics or controls, and the game seems simple and lackluster…an excuse to throw in everyone’s favorite characters to remind them how much they want to buy the DVD.  I hate this kind of thing.  Come on…you’re Disney.  Show a little class.

You can buy Alice in Wonderland HERE

You know my love for retro gaming… So, you canunderstand how pumped I was when I heard Revolutionary Concepts was coming out with Cobra Command. I’m here to tell you, if you grew up in the LaserDisc arcade genre, this game is a must have. I know some of you younger guys and gals would classify this as just another rail game, but keep in mind this came out in 1984.

The reason why I loved Cobra Command over Dragon’s Lair or Space Ace, was the ability to actually “Target” enemy foes. You simply didn’t just move up, down, left or right. Cobra Command felt more interactive.

[Video Review by Mr. Pence]

Revolutionary Concepts has done an incredible job cleaning up the old film from the original LaserDisc and updating the overlay graphics. The gameplay is a ton of fun and I actually forgot how challenging Cobra Command was, at least I’m not pumping in a $1 every time I die.

Do yourself a favor, check out the best LaserDisc translated title for the iPhone, you wont regret it.

You can buy Cobra Command HERE.

Still, gameplay is a lot of fun and the overall theme of the game, complete with mission descriptions and objectives, makes the experience something special.  The controls are simple and the game is pretty well bug-free.  There are a lot worse ways to spend $0.99.

[Video Review by Johnny5]

Buy SkySmash 1918 HERE.

So, of course, I was a huge fan of Green Fingers, an application that lets you grow digital flowers and rack up points all with a cute interface and sunshiney music.

[Video Review by Johnny5]

The game is easy to control, easy to understand, and works well to grow with your skills.  I wish there were an option to begin at a later level, but at the same time the slow-build is part of what makes the game enjoyable.

Wi-fi or multiplayer?  Not yet, but I’m totally content with the game as it is.  And for $0.99, you can’t beat the price.

Buy Green Fingers HERE.

So when I heard Doom Resurrection was coming out for the iPhone, I was happy I had gotten rid of my crappy Sprint account 2 years prior. Doom Resurrection for the iPhone and iPod Touch is an AMAZING App. I know there has been a lot of smack talk about this being a Rail Shooter and not a free moving game, but listen to me, this version of Doom is about as awesome and eerie as ALL of the PC counterparts.

[Video Review by Mr. Pence]

The graphics are amazing, the sound design is bone chilling and controls are VERY intuitive. Besides, isn’t it fun killing zombies? Id Software has done an INCREDIBLE job exporting their franchise game to the iPhone and iPod Touch.

The game has a great storyline and I have never once complained that this is ONLY a Rail Shooter. If it helps, I HATE Rail Shooters… For some reason this doesn’t feel like one. Id Software has done a great job re-creating the mood of the Doom series on the iPhone. Headphones are a must.

So do yourself a favor, grab Doom Resurrection for the iPhone… I know it’s $6.99, but it’s cheaper than a 1993 $1200 Packard Bell.

You can buy Doom Resurrection HERE.

In 1990, LucasArts released another titled based on the SCUMM engine called The Secret of Monkey Island. Now, I was never into pirates, but this game had it all. You are Guybrush Threepwood, a young lad who wishes to be a pirate, and the adventure that ensues is his dream. The Secret of Monkey Island is filled with great characters like The Ghost Pirate LeChuck and The Men of Low Moral Fiber just to name a few. The game had an AWESOME storyline, great humor and an expansive universe. Well, as expansive as 8 floppies would give you in 1990.

[Video Review by Mr. Pence and a rogue fly named Jack]

You can imagine my excitement when I heard LucasArts was releasing a Special Edition version of Monkey Island for the iPhone. The Secret of Monkey Island for my phone! Seriously?! Well, The Secret of Monkey Island: Special Edition is indeed special. The music is no longer MIDI in nature but is full-blown with instruments. The characters finally have a voice…no more reading text onscreen and imagining what LeChuck or Guybrush sound like. Graphics have also been improved here and there. So what do we end up with? Simply the BEST graphical adventure game of ALL-TIME on a device smaller than the floppies the game originally came on.

I know $7.99 might seem crazy for an iPhone app, but this one is worth it. It was released on the X-Box 360 at the same time for $10. Believe me, if you have never played a LucasArts adventure game, do yourself a favor and download The secret of Monkey Island.

I hope the rest of The Monkey Island Series is in the works.

You can buy The Secret of Monkey Island: Special Edition HERE.

You can also learn more about the World of Monkey Island HERE.

I will say that G-Map worked like a champ during the trip and I’ve got a ton of video reviews in the works. The one game I HAD to play over vacation was Space Ace.

Why?

Because this was the second full-motion video game that Don Bluth and company made way back in 1983. The first full-motion game was Dragon’s Lair and let me tell you, when this hit the video arcade scene, people took notice. If I remember correctly both Dragon’s Lair and Space Ace cost a $1 to play at the time, which was honestly real expensive for a video game in 1983. I mean you could play any other video game for 25¢. But the other games didn’t have full-motion video OR Don Bluth animation.

[Video Review by Mr. Pence]

When I got the review code for Space Ace during vacation, I had to play it. I simply told Mrs. Pence that I had to make a few calls and I immediately launched Space Ace and started my mission to defeat Borf. What happens at the beach stays at the beach right?

Well, I’m here to tell you, if you grew up with Dragon’s Lair and Space Ace this app is a must have. Everything is there, including the kick ass attract sequence.

You younger pups are probably wondering why I’m so worked up over this title. This ain’t no Sega CD Sewer Shark. Ok?!

This game changed the way people produced games. Let real artist design and have creative control. Pretty bizarre thoughts for 1983. It’s standard operating procedure today.

Well, I’m a happy to say that Space Ace works GREAT on the iPhone and that even my 10 year old son LOVES playing it. So, take a peek at the video review and the game that changed the way games were made.

Let’s just hope Dragon’s Lair is next.

You can buy Space Ace HERE.

In truth, though, Merlin’s Legacy is more akin to the shelves upon shelves of other fantasy fiction out there.  It’s a kind of storybook that pulls you from wizard face-off to wizard face-off.

The main premise is this: Merlin has been killed, and as his apprentice, it’s your responsibility to track down his killer and bring him or her to justice.

To be completely honest, the story here is little more than window dressing–simple (though often over-written) text that does little more than give you a little background and pull you into the next battle.  If you’re looking for a great choose-your-own adventure game, this one isn’t for you.

What the game really centers on is the battles.  They start simple with your apprentice character facing off against another wizard with only a few spells in his bag of tricks.  As the levels progress, your wizard learns new spells that are more “difficult” to cast (meaning they deplete your “magic meter” much faster).

Spells include protective barriers, enchanted creatures, and what I like to call “magic torpedos”…you know, those little glowing orbs every wizard seems to be able to conjure from thin air and hurl at his opponent?

At first I was unimpressed with the gameplay, but after a while it grew on me.  There is a definite strategy to it, and figuring out the best way to cast spells in what order to best defeat your opponent is kind of a charge.

But there is a huge problem with this game: it’s too easy to beat.

Once you get the hang of what you’re doing, every wizard, including the bosses, are easy to defeat.  In playing through the game’s twenty levels, I lost only once, and this was because my opponent pulled out a spell for which I was unprepared.

Really, I’m not that good at these types of games.  If I’m able to breeze through it, the average gamer is going to get bored easily.

I must admit, though, that it kept my attention the whole way through.  Plus there is a tournament mode if you are really into the game, and this can prove somewhat more challenging than the quest mode.  The graphics are a little crude, but the overall structure of gameplay is fairly fun.

Add a few more quests with some more challenging wizards and a more interesting storyline, and I’m sold.  As is, though, I can’t recommend this one for its price tag of $2.99.  There is, however, a free version of the game that would be worth checking out if you’re into this kind of thing.

Buy Merlin’s Legacy HERE.

In the back of my mind, I had this fear that it would be a disappointment like Metal Gear Solid was. I’m glad I tried it out; it’s a full-blown game that fits right up there with the best of the Resident Evil titles.

This is no lite version and this game will freak you out like all of the other Resident Evil titles have. The 3D engine in this game continues to prove that the iPhone is a TRUE contender not only in the mobile gaming market, but in the handheld gaming market as well. Once again, I love games for the iPhone that have a console experience, and this one fits perfectly into that category. The sound is truly eerie and the cut-scenes are a major plus. This title is a steal at $6.99.  If you’re a Resident Evil fan, then it’s a must have.

[Video Review by Mr. Pence]

You can buy Resident Evil Degeneration HERE.

BulkPix calls The Hysteria Project an Interactive Movie and it is an interesting concept for the iPhone. It reminds me a lot like the games on the Sega CD, but updated enough to work on the iPhone. Like the Sega CD, once you have finished the game, I don’t know if you’ll play it again. Because you’ll know the exact path to win it again. The game is genuinely creepy and has its moments. It reminds me a lot of a cross between The Blair Witch Project and Saw.

The interesting thing is, BulkPix is saying this title will become more of  an episodic title. This would make this concept more interesting and allow it to have more longevity. So, it’s definitely an interesting concept and it’s really creepy. We’ll just have to see if the $1.99 episodic, horror and choose your adventure genre works on the iPhone.

[Video Review by Mr. Pence]

You can buy The Hysteria Project HERE.

This game is definitely for the latter.  While I’ll admit I’ve only played through a few levels of the new Star Trek: The Mobile Game by EA Games, I have blown up enough Klingon birds of prey to last a lifetime.  Kirk would be proud (he’ll never forgive them for what they did to his boy).

Okay, for all your non-geeks out there (what are you doing on this site), “Star Trek” just got a massive reboot courtesy of director J.J. Abrams.  In celebration of this, EA has released a mobile game that allows you to pilot the Starship Enterprise…and blow lots of stuff up.  As I said, I’ve only played through a few levels, but I wanted to get my thoughts posted quickly for all you Trek fans eager to figure out if this one was worth your time.  

Now, if you’re looking for an all-out extravaganza–a new story with sophisticated graphics that adds to the “Star Trek” universe–this isn’t the game for you.  Instead, this is a fun “Galaxian” style game where you maneuver the Enterprise around the screen, collecting objects, blowing up enemy spacecraft, and avoiding obstacles (like meteors).

It’s really simple and straightforward, and at first I was disappointed.  Playing a little more, though, it’s a hell of a fun, simple game with effective gameplay and awesome music ripped straight from the new film.  I would love to have a story-oriented Trek game with advanced animations and different types of gameplay, but that will have to wait.  This one is a simple shoot-em-up, available for only $2.99 on the iTunes store.

EA does their best to integrate “Star Trek” specific elements, though.  You don’t just shoot your photon torpedos (little blips of light that mimic traditional space shooter games)–the Enterprise also has a phaser that locks into enemy ships and a tractor beam that is used to pick up objects within a certain radius.  You can collect more powerful weapons drifting in space, and even increase your shields.  All the geeky “Trek” elements are there.

You also get updates from crew members–Kirk, Spock, Chekhov, Uhura, and Sulu are all here.  Unfortunately, we only get written directions and a picture, but they say all their lines in classic “Star Trek” fashion, warning of a loss of shields or approaching enemy fighters.

It would be nice to get full voice updates, but what can you do.

Gameplay is simple but fun with a number of control options.  You can use the tilt controls to navigate the Enterprise, slide your finger across the screen to maneuver (the most effective method, for sure), or even command with an on-screen joy stick.

In addition, you can choose whether to auto-target enemies (my preferred method), or to tap enemy ships to lock on to them.  EA is really taking advantage of the multiple elements of the iPhone interface.

After completing each level (or clearing a sector, as the game calls it), players can use their winnings to upgrade different elements of the Enterprise–from the photon torpedos to the phasers, tractor beam, and shield.  

Then you take your ship out for a spin and blow up some aliens.  Why?  We don’t really know…because they are there.  Which is a very un-Star-Trek train of logic.

Overall, this game is worth its price tag of $2.99, but it will disappoint die-hard “Trek” fans who were hoping for something more in-depth.  I’d love to see EA put together a full-fledged game–maybe a whole new story about Kirk commanding the Enterprise.  Make it a $9.99 game and develop it as fully as Terminator Salvation.  I guarantee people will pay for it.  

For now, though, this is a fun little shooter game that is well worth your time.  Enterprise out.

Buy Star Trek HERE.

See, we did more than just jump off roofs or break bones.  In fact, the worst injuries I can recall were bruises and a bloody nose.  No, my friend was into the story aspect of wrestling.  We had overarching storylines of girlfriend-stealing, ripping up homework and crazy name-calling.  For about a year of my life, we never turned it off.  I still didn’t like wrestling, but I had at least grown to appreciate it for what it was: a male soap opera, complete with characters, a changing storyline, and a lot of drama.

So when I saw the opportunity to play TNA Wrestling by Longtail Studios, I was excited.  I thought it would be a fun action game that would allow me to drop people on their heads and execute sweet-ass finishing moves.  But I was wrong.  TNA wrestling is more akin to a choose-your-own-adventure comic book, and for a guy who appreciates the story element of wrestling, that’s pretty damn cool. 

You start by defining your character name and look.  You’re a nobody wrestler looking for your big break.  You stumble on a scout for the big boys, TNA wrestling, and you have to make decisions about how to behave.  

A lot of the game is conversation based.  You’ll encounter a character, maybe another wrestler, and have to decide what you will say to them.  You are given options, some of them making you the bad guy (or heel) and others making you the good guy (or face).  Choose your own storyline and act accordingly in order to accomplish your goals of becoming a TNA superstar!

The other half of the game is the matches.  These, too, play out more as a series of choices than an action-packed skill game.  You pick which moves to do on opponents and perform certain sets of moves in order to execute combos and finishing moves.  The only “skill” area of the game is executing a number of gestures in order to accurately execute a particularly difficult move before the clock runs out.  It’s not going to give you the same feeling as playing mortal combat…that’s not what it’s going for, and I think it’s a refreshing change.

The graphics are fun but basic.  They emulate the original Nintendo games I grew up loving, so there is a nostalgia factor there.  The goal with this game is not to push the limits of the iPhone format, so don’t come in expecting PS3 level graphics.

Complaints?  The conversations can go on a bit long.  I know it is somewhat based on the decisions you make, but it’s tough to get out of an insult-trading session with your soon-to-be opponent in the ring.  It’s fun for a while, but it goes on too long.

Then again, this was always my complaint with “real” wrestling, so I’d guess you could say that it provides accurate gameplay.

Want more action?  Go into tournament mode and get straight to the matches, including options for tag team and gauntlet modes.

You can score two types of points, heel or face, in order to level up and unlock new moves.  As the game progresses, the plot gets more complicated and the decisions you have to make become trickier.  But it never ceases to be entertaining.

If you have ever watched wrestling laughing and allowing yourself to be drawn in by the ridiculous storyline, this app is for you.  Instead of being an observer, though, you can participate and shape the story in whatever way you want.

That’s right.  John Cena ain’t got nothin’ on you.

You can buy TNA Wrestling HERE.

THE GAME.

Basically, Bot has to overcome increasingly difficult obstacles as he moves through a series of underground sewer areas in Entry 1, the sky in Entry 2, and space in Entry 3. He uses magnetic boots and some swinging, good timing and luck to successfully move past physics challenges and collect data pads to restore his memory (which is revealed through screenshots from which the user is supposed to glean the storyline of the game — the more datapads you recover, the more of Bot’s memories you get to see).

An added bonus in the 2nd game in the series is a really cool rotating puzzle to navigate and the addition of bombs and sentry guards to avoid. The 3rd game takes you out of the realm of Earth’s atmosphere and blasts you into space, ergo the additional challenge of zero gravity at times during game play as well as black holes to avoid. Very cool. Also cool: you don’t win the game by killing enemies or blowing stuff up, making this very kid-friendly. The end of the 3rd game sees Toy Bot return home to Planet Bot.  And really, at the end of a long voyage (or a hard day at work) don’t we all really just want to go home? It’s a satisfying end to an excellent game trilogy.

Toy Bot, which I first encountered several months ago via the free version, is one of the best games I have come across for the iPhone. I have downloaded countless games and promptly deleted about 85% of them for various reasons. I don’t require a lot from a game–just an enjoyable experience with controls that are fairly easy to use…and a quick little tutorial isn’t a bad idea. But, mainly I don’t want to “feel” like I’m playing a game. I want to get deep enough into the game play that I temporarily forget all about the fact that I’m playing a video game. The Toy Bot Diaries series does this for me – and as a result, these games will likely never be deleted from my iPhone.  I will be playing them over and over for years to come.

CONCLUSION.

Things I like a lot about the Toy Bot Diaries game? Here’s a quick rundown: Unobtrusive game play hints, the magnetic grappling beam, the game’s usage of the iPhone’s tilt controls, and increasing difficulty of challenges which require more accurate timing. The game utilizes the multi-touch interface of the iPhone along with the a sophisticated physics simulator. For example, you can touch a metallic surface to enable the magnetic grappling beam, tilt the iPhone left and right to make Bot swing, and then touch somewhere else to release the beam.  This type of maneuver is used not only to collect datapads, but to move upward or sideways through areas that Bot cannot walk through in order to reach the end of a particular level. And, yeah, I’m a sucker for the music and other sound effects.  I can’t help giggling when Bot screams “Wheeee!” as he free falls, or “whoo hoo’s” when he passes a checkpoint. Even the sound effect played when you die is catchy! And the music? Well, let’s just say I’ve caught myself humming it unconsciously as I play and have more than once furtively looked around to make sure no one noticed it.

Things I don’t like about the Toy Bot Diaries game? Only one. Well, two:
I am a story line kind of person. I wish there was a storyboard to flesh out the plot a little — although this is not a major flaw, in my opinion. Perhaps the intent is for every user to incorporate one’s own storyboard ideas…
My 9-yr-old son frequently grabs the iPhone away from me when he thinks I’m not “doing it right,” and this may well result in a social worker visit to our home one day.  You don’t grab an iPhone away from an iPhone addict … I’m just saying … it could get ugly …

Toy Bot Diaries is a game that can be played over and over countless times, and each time is as enjoyable as the last. A great game is one that is so  totally immersive that you don’t even notice yourself playing. And at $3.99 each, it’s very affordable, even to purchase all three. You will get your money’s worth, I promise you.

Click to buy Toy Bot Diaries Entry 1, Entry 2 and Entry 3.

Ahh, Oregon Trail on the Apple II. Memories.

It had a fairly simple premise, navigate your family from Independence, Missouri to Oregon’s Willamette Valley. Of course, all of this is done via a covered wagon during the 19th century pioneer era. I spent countless hours playing this game “killing time”, but I was really having a blast.

[Video Review by Mr. Pence]

THE OREGON TRAIL ON THE IPHONE.

The art direction in this game is fantanstic.

When I heard Gameloft was releasing a version of The Oregon Trail for the iPhone, I started counting down the days for the release. I felt like a kid again. I’m here to tell you, if you have ever played Oregon Trail when you were younger, you need to buy Gameloft’s version.

Gameloft has taken the simplicity of The Oregon Trail game and has made a very addictive and updated version. It’s pretty funny, my son wouldn’t let me touch the game the first three days I had it. That should speak for it’s playability. He’s 10.

The mini-games are a blast.

The objective of the game is the same as the original made in 1971, but Gameloft’s updated sound and graphics make this title a winner.

The mini-games are fun and not too challenging for younger folks. The fishing and berry-picking is a blast. It’ll bring back memories in a second. I love the humor and wit Gameloft has added to this title as well.

CONCLUSION.

If you loved playing The Oregon Trail growing up, this game is a must have. If you have young ones around the house, download it for them. It’s a great change of pace and It’s a perfect game for trips. Kudo’s to Gameloft again, you’ve got another winner.

You can buy The Oregon Trail HERE.