The World’s Smallest Violin…like, for real.

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Ever see some movie, or some book or gadget/invention and think to yourself, “Why didn’t I think of that?!” Well, that’s how I feel about Tiny Violin.

Here’s the scenario. We all have that friend. God love him/her, there is always SOMETHING going on that is tragic, or infuriating, or needlessly stressful. And they love to talk your ear off about it.

They’re convinced that their tire blowing out, the virus that kept them in bed all weekend, or the loss of their cell phone is the epitome of pain and suffering–MUCH more important than any of the trivial trials and tribulations of YOUR boring life.

In years past, we had only a few options. We could nod in agreement and keep our mouths closed, we could call them out on their over-dramatic ranting, or we could mock them.

Usually I pick the latter. I gently rub my fingers together underneath my chin, and when they look at me with confusion or concern for my mental health, I stare straight into their eyes and proclaim, “See this? It’s the world’s smallest violin, playing just for you.”

It’s clever. It’s cute. It’s mean. It’s timeless. And it just went digital.

Whenever that “friend” starts talking to you, pull out your phone like you’re getting a text message. Keep nodding and making occasional eye contact to throw him/her off the scent. Launch this app, hold it up to your chin, and begin sliding the bow back and forth on your virtual violin.

The sad music that comes blaring from your speaker will say it all. If your friend is rather bright, he/she will get the picture immediately. If not, you might have to explain.

This really is the world’s tiniest violin, and it’s playing just for you.

All right, all right. Let’s get to the actual review. I’ll keep this short and sweet.

The app knows its place. It’s without too many options or features. The interface is simple and works. Slide your finger across the screen to play a piece of pre-recorded violin music.

There is no home screen and no unnecessary buttons, which is a good thing. When your buddy starts bitching, you have a limited amount of time to get your app launched and going.

I have noticed that every once in a while the bow will be non-responsive. It wouldn’t be a big deal for a normal app, but when you’re in a friend-mocking time crunch, three extra seconds can kill your joke. This bug will hopefully be fixed in later releases.

There is a small “info” button that, when pressed, allows you to pick two other (very funny) music options: “Joy” and “Let’s rock!”

The default music setting is “Despair.”

The other two options are a lot of fun, but it’s up to you to figure out interesting ways to use them. Of course, mocking or embarrassing your friends is a little harder with these, but I’m sure you guys (and gals) can think of something.

Don’t feel like sliding your finger cross the iPhone screen? You can always turn on the “shake to play” option.

That’s about it. The only suggestion I can think of is maybe an option to change your violin style and color, but it’s really not a big deal.

The app isn’t about customization or game play. It’s about mocking others, hopefully in a well-intentioned way.

As far as that goal goes, this app gets an A+ from this HAL9000 supercomputer. So put this tiny violin on your home screen and wait. It might be a day, a week, a month, or even a year, but eventually you will get the opportunity to take that “special someone” down a peg or two. And then it will all be worth it.

You can buy Tiny Violin HERE.

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